(no subject)
your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
I dreamt of interviewing God.

"And so you would like to interview me." God said.

"If there's the time..." I answered.

"My time is the Eternity" God replied. "What questions would you like to ask me?"

"What stupefies you of us human beings?"

God answered: "That they are soon fed up of being children. They want to grow up immediately and they... they would like to be children again.
That they lose their health for money... and then lose money to regain health.
That they are anxious about the future and forget about the present, so they live neither the present nor the future.
That they live as they will never die and die as they've never lived."

God's hand took mine in his and we kept silent for a while.

Then I asked: "What would you like your children to learn?"

God aswered smiling: "I want them to learn that they can't force the others to love them. They just can love and be loved.
I want them to learn thet it's not fair compairing themselves to others.
That the rich isn't the one who owns more, but who needs the essential.
That it takes only a second to wound someone loved, but many years to heal that same wound.
That they learn how to forget forgiving.
That they understand that there are people who love them deeply, but they just don't know how to express their feelings.
That two people can see the same thing in two different ways.
That it's not sufficient forgiving the others, they also have to forgive themselves."

"Thank you for your time" I said then. "Is there anything more you want your childern to know?"

God smiled and answered: "I want them to know I am here. Always."


Once a person I loved sent me this. After reading it, I replied: "there is people who don't believe in God and people who believe in different divine entities. There is people who call themselves God and people who call it different names. But in the end, they behave the same way. Thank you, my dear friend, because you didn't send me an inteview with God, but you looked right into my eyes and you begged me to be honest with myself."

I do hope you'll enjoy it as much as I still do.

your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
It's the tecnology that solves problems, not politics. Even if politicians were sincere, they couldn't help us. Politics is not trained to solve the problems of our society.

And what is technology?

Technology is a pencil which allows one to write his ideas on a paper sheet for communication.
Technology is a car which allows one to travel faster than his feet would allow.
Technology is a pair of eye glasses which able sight for those who need it.

Applying technology itself is nothing but an extention of human attributes, which reduces human efforts, freeing humans from particular chores or problems.

What would be your life today without a telephone? Or an oven, a computer, a plane?
Everything you find in your home, which you take for granted, from the doorbell to the table, the dishwasher... is technology. Generated from the creative genius of humans.

Not money. Not politics. Not religion.

(no subject)
your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
And today, I'm starting it over again.

It's 6.00 pm. I have to study because I'm not able to solve those stupid useless problems, but I barely can read what the hell there's written on the sheet bcause my eyes hurt. I'm sick of this Life.
Today, I cut myself. Again. There was a time, when I didn't have to. Just looking at me in front of the mirror made me happy. And now... now I even can't walk past the shop windows...

Stupid life. Stupid sugar addiction. Stupid parents. Stupid recovery. Stupid me, believing in them again.
I'm going to stop this viociuos circe once for all. On 3rd December I'll be in front of the judge for the last time. I can't go there with this body. I can't go anywhere with this... this... body.

I'm no more the one you knew. From today on, I'll let what you call a disease take control over me. Because only my illness was able to make me happy.

0234. From today on.

your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep

I believe in the power of the imagination
to remake the world,
to release the truth within us,
to hold back the night,
to transcend death,
to charm motorways,
to ingratiate ourselves with birds,
to enlist the confidences of madmen.

I believe in the forgotten runways of Wake Island,
pointing towards the Pacifics of our imaginations.

I believe in Max Ernst, Delvaux, Dali, Titian,
Goya, Leonardo, Vermeer, Chirico, Magritte,
Redon, Duerer, Tanguy, the Facteur Cheval,
the Watts Towers, Boecklin, Francis Bacon,
and all the invisible artists
within the psychiatric institutions of the planet.

I believe in madness,
in the truth of the inexplicable,
in the common sense of stones,
in the lunacy of flowers,
in the disease stored up for the human race
by the Apollo astronauts.

I believe in my own obsessions,
in the beauty of the car crash,
in the peace of the submerged forest,
in the excitements of the deserted holiday beach,
in the elegance of automobile graveyards,
in the mystery of multi-storey car parks,
in the poetry of abandoned hotels.

I believe in the gentleness of the surgeon’s knife,
in the limitless geometry of the cinema screen,
in the hidden universe within supermarkets,
in the loneliness of the sun, in the garrulousness of planets,
in the repetitiveness or ourselves,
in the inexistence of the universe and the boredom of the atom.

I believe in flight,
in the beauty of the wing,
and in the beauty of everything that has ever flown,
in the stone thrown by a small child
that carries with it the wisdom of statesmen and midwives.

I believe in the death of the emotions,
and the triumph of the imagination.

I believe in nothing.
- J.G. Ballard // Autopsy of the New Millennium

I believe in everything. But everything is always letting me down.
But who cares? Really, who cares?

I will always do right. This will gratify some people -and astonish the rest.


Non vivere su questa terra
come un estraneo
o come un turista della natura.

Vivi in questo mondo
come nella casa di tuo padre;
credi al grano, alla terra, al mare
ma prima di tutto credi all'uomo.

Ama le nuvole, le macchine, i libri
ma prima di tutto ama l'uomo.

Senti la tristezza
del ramo che secca,
dell'astro che si spegne,
dell'animale ferito che rantola,
ma prima di tutto
senti la tristezza e il dolore dell'uomo.

Ti dian gioia
tutti i beni della terra.
L'ombra e la luce ti dia gioia,
le quattro stagioni ti dian gioia,
ma soprattutto,
a piene mani ti dia gioia l'uomo.

Don't live on this Earth
like a foreigner
or a tourist of nature.

Live in this world
as in the house of your father.
Believe in the seeds, the earth, the sea,
but first of all believe in the man.

Love the clouds, the machines, the books
But first of all love the man.

Feel the sadness
of the branch dying,
of the star vanishing,
of the wounded animal which is passing away
but first of all,
feel the sadness and the sorrow of the man.

May everything on Earth give you joy,
May light and darkness give you joy,
may the four seasons give you joy,
but first of all,
may the opened hands of the man give you joy.

-Nazir Hikmed -Poems

your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep


Ярко и долго, я река которая в огне,
Не подходи ко мне,
Легки, движения реки, крушения огонь,
Ты не играй со мной.

Агония, огонь и я...
С огнём мы играем вдвоём.
Агония, огонь и я...
Играем вдвоём.

Ноты в эфире, я и ты в четыре руки,
Мы стали так близки,
С тобою спорим, кто кого поборёт,
Ты меня, а может я тебя.

Агония, огонь и я...
С огнём мы играем вдвоём.
Агония, огонь и я...
Играем вдвоём.

Пара кружится, мне пора решится,
Мне куда, туда или туда ?
Любовь и жалость, всё перемешалось,
Где твоя рука, а где моя ?

Агония ! Огонь и я !
С огнём мы играем вдвоём.
Агония ! Огонь и я !
Играем вдвоём.

Агония ! Огонь и я !
С огнём мы играем вдвоём.
Агония ! Огонь и я !
Играем вдвоём.


I hope you can't understand. This is here only to remember this coldness.....

Forgive me
your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
Because it's not your fault, it's mine.
Because I wasn't there when you needed me,
Because I left you alone at night,
Because when you were crying I wasn't there with you,
Please, forgive me.

Because if we were meant to be friends forever, I would have never abandoned you.

note to self
your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
Note to self.

Stop treating your body like trash.
Stop treating yourself like trash.
Stop treating people like trash.

your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep

Yesterday, waking up, I danced in the wind, And the rain was made of the sound of your laughing. Today, with closed eyes, I run through the darkness of thousand nights. And my leader is the eternal light of your serene eyes. Maybe tomorrow I won't wake up, but I still want to pass away in the warmth of our memories. Thank you. -To my friends.

Original one:

Ieri, alzandomi, ho ballato nel vento. E la pioggia era la musica del tuo riso. Oggi, a occhi chiusi, corro nel buio di mille notti. E la mia guida è il lume eterno del tuo occhi sereni. Forse domani non mi sveglierò, ma voglio spegnarmi nel tepore dei nostri ricordi. Grazie. -Agli amici


Emotional Eating
your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
I've just found something relevant on one of the sites I was used to visit once (www.sparkpeople.com)... May it interest you?

Eating is more than something we do to nourish our bodies with vital nutrients. It's also an activity we do out of habit, like nail biting, hair twirling, or finger tapping. And sometimes, we habitually turn to food in response to certain emotions. Whether you feel angry, sad, bored—even excited—food can act as a buffer against these emotions, something 82 percent of you know all too well.

Emotional eaters know that it's easier to stuff down our feelings with each bite. We know that the fleeting "high" we get from food blocks the pain or discomfort of dealing we might be feeling, even if only temporarily. We also know better; in the long run, we still feel bad and we know that we shouldn't eat for purely emotional reasons. But that knowledge isn't enough to stop what feels like an addiction to food and eating. So where do you start if you want to stop eating emotionally?

It may be cliché, but the first step is awareness, recognizing that you do eat emotionally—and WHY. Each time you reach for foods (or even feel a craving come on), ask yourself, "Am I really hungry or am I just responding to something else that is happening?" If hunger isn't the reason, it's not always easy to pinpoint the reason why you feel like eating. Tracking your food can help, especially if you note the times you eat and how you were feeling before, during and afterward. By tracking your food (and related notes) more regularly, you could notice trends, like a tendency to overeat on Mondays, for example, and then pinpoint your true feelings from there. Ask yourself what it is about Mondays that leads to overeating (Stress from getting the kids to school? Anger over going to a job you hate?) Notice if you tend to munch in the evenings. Is it out of boredom, loneliness, or an unhappy relationship? Journaling (or blogging), in addition to tracking your food intake, can help you examine the causes of eating episodes so you can pinpoint your feelings.

While emotional eaters soothe themselves with food to avoid feeling and examining uncomfortable emotions, that gratification is temporary—and still painful, just like the emotions you're trying to avoid. But if you learn to recognize the emotional triggers that lead to eating, you can also learn to stop emotional eating before it starts by choose healthier ways to deal with your feelings. Here are some alternatives to eating that can help you deal with three of the most common emotions that can lead to eating.

Stress and Anger
Stress is part of our everyday lives, and it can create the same physiological responses as anger, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure. If you are eating as a response to anger and/or stress, some of these activities will help you calm down and deal with the issue at hand, instead of covering it up with food.
  • Remove yourself from the stressful situation. If you’ve had an altercation with a friend or family member, take some time away from each other to calm down and get your thoughts together. Make a list of what you want to say to the person with whom you’ve had the conflict, and revisit the issue later when you're both calm.
  • Take some deep breaths. Deep breathing has been shown to reduce blood pressure and promote feelings of calmness. Try this simple breathing activity any time you need to de-stress.
  • Exercise. It's a known stress buster and you may even find that it helps you deal with anger. Go for a short walk outside, hit some tennis balls, or push around some heavy weights at the gym—these are all constructive ways to deal with stress and anger.
  • Listen to music. We can all think of some songs that calm us down. Make a special CD or playlist that you can turn to when you need it. Identify this as a trigger of emotional eating.
  • Prevent stress from happening again. If mornings are so busy that you're barely able to get out the door on time, put some time-management skills into practice so that you don't have to rush or feel stressed each morning.
Sadness and Loneliness
These two emotions often go hand in hand. Loneliness can result in sadness, and sad people can often become withdrawn. Especially if you're dealing with grief or spending a lot of time alone, it's easy to turn to comfort foods or soothe yourself with foods that you associate with happier memories. Instead, work to replace these uncomfortable emotions with a positive action. Learn to use alternative activities as sources of gratification. Just as you've learned to turn to food for a pick-me-up, you can learn to use other activities in the same way.
  • Exercise. It boosts mood, releases endorphins (feel-good chemicals in the brain), and has even been reported to be more addictive than drugs. Anything you do to get yourself moving will work. Leaving the house for a short bike ride or walk will also help you avoid food temptations at home.
  • Play with your pet; animals have unconditional love and promote health and emotional wellness, too. If you don't have a pet, volunteer at a local shelter, which will expose you to both animals and more social interaction to combat your loneliness.
  • Write a letter to a friend. Reaching out to friends and family members, even if you haven’t talked to them in awhile, will remind you of all the wonderful people in your life who care about you. Spark up an old friendship!
  • Volunteer. People who volunteer feel better about themselves, and it's hard to feel down on yourself when you're helping others.
  • Post on the message boards! Even if you feel like you don't have a friend in the world, there is always someone here at SparkPeople who can help pick you up when you are feeling down.
We have hundreds of TV channels, phones that surf the web, online social networks, and movement-sensing video games, but when it comes down to it, we still feel bored in our lives. Eating adds another layer to our entertainment options (like popcorn at a movie) but also becomes an easy thing to do when we don't know what else to do! After all, eating is fun and enjoyable, and it passes the time. Fortunately, many boredom-busting activities don't involve eating.
  • Pay attention to what you consume. Make a new rule that you will not multitask while you eat. That means no chips while on the computer and no ice cream while watching your favorite TV drama. If you're going to eat, you're going to be present and focus on the food you're enjoying to help avoid mindless overeating.
  • Develop a new hobby. Even without cash to spare, you can learn to knit, join a local book club, or train for a 5K race. By scheduling these activities regularly, you'll have plenty to do—and practice! Make a list of all the things you ever wanted to learn, from cooking to speaking a new language, and start investigating how to get started.
  • Read. We don't spend enough time reading these days, and while you may claim that you don't have the time, everyone has a few minutes here and there. Carry your book, favorite newspaper or magazine with you and steal minutes whenever you have downtime. Set a goal to read just 15 minutes each night, and you may find that stretching longer (and keeping your mind and fingers busy enough that they won't miss eating).
  • Play a game. Remember how fun board and card games can be? Some even take hours! Bring out a fun game for your next party or set up a game night with your best friend. If you're by yourself, crossword puzzles are a good alternative.
  • Connect with friends and loved ones. Some might argue that we feel so bored during this digital age because we're missing real-life interaction and friendships. After all, if you can post on your friend's Facebook wall or text your brother anytime, why call? Make a point to write letters, send personal emails, make phone calls and meet up with the important people in your life.
With an arsenal of activities you can do besides eating, you're on the right path to stop the emotional eating cycle. You might not be successful every time, but if you accept your mistakes and move forward, continuing to work on your issues by tracking, journaling and distracting yourself in a positive way, you'll overcome your emotional eating problems once and for all. With so many enjoyable experiences in life, food doesn't have to take center stage. Make sure you are taking time to enjoy all of them equally!

your soul is tasty nz new zealand sheep
I want to eat no more.

I've been crying for days... and today I ended up bursting in tears during Religion IRC class. I can't go on with this.
I can't...

I don't want to eat. I don't want to feel this again. This... This.... It's not pain.

I don't feel pain. Only my eyes start to burn after the many times I've wiped them. But I don't feel pain. Inside, there's coldness. And emptiness.
I need someone to tell me I can't make it. I need someone to tell me I'm weak. I need someone to tell me I'm not good enough, to lie to me, to leave me alone. Then, maybe, I will realize that I don't exist.

Because my God is in my shadow and he's so good to me... but I don't do anything for him. And I should be punished and brought to the edge of this Life, but he doesn't do so. He gives me sun and warmth and help and anything I wish for... and that I don't deserve.

After 9 months, I wished to die. Thank you for recovery, you bastards. I was so happy before, and you ruined anything. Thank you, because I feel like I'm going to give u p with school, love, life, anything. Thank you, because I lock myself in the toilets at school and cry. Thank you, because I'm alone. thank you, because I've got the picture of the razor Blade I lent on my mobile. Thank you, because I'm not sure my scars will heal for the first November. Thank you, because it's all my fault if it's not working.

It's my fault, as usual. It's my fault. Only my fault...


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